i’m thankful that i met you. i still remember the first day i saw you enter the doors of our school. attention was drawn upon you. you could say i was jealous at first? i told my friends, “i swear he better not take drama.” i remember saying that loud and proud. and to my surprise, there you were, sitting on a chair like the cool kid you are. i went up to you, all energetic and hyper, and you just stared cause you were shocked that i knew your name even before we had our first conversation. from that moment, i knew we would become friends, but you know what surprised me? we became close buds. we related. i never thought i’d find someone so similar. it was a breath of fresh air for me. having a bestfriend leave, i thought i’d never find someone that would ever understand, but i was wrong. you helped me through my problems, through my issues, almost everything. you walked me home at my weakest point just to make sure i was safe. you cared. you’re truly someone worth keeping. so yeah, i’m thankful. thankful for you.
no. i don’t mean just any old friend. someone who gets it. someone who’s been through what i’ve been through, you know? right down to the last detail. i’m not asking for a perfect carbon copy of me, i just want someone who understands. i dont want pity, no, not at all. i just want understanding.
i wanna be loved. i know, how shallow of me, but i just want to feel that way. rather than me always giving 110% of my effort all the time, i actually wanna see the opposite. i’m so tired. tired that i’m not good enough for any person. doesn’t matter. i’m honestly beginning to consider not liking anyone anymore, but you know what sucks? i know i’ll fall for someone eventually and just get hurt again and again and again. i don’t wanna complain, just vent. i wanna vent about the way i feel about everything. sometimes, this just sticks in my mind all night long, and i cant sleep. i’m just exhausted of getting hurt and blaming myself for everything. i know deep inside though, that i have made mistakes after mistakes. guess i just answered my question. i get it now.
When my absence doesn’t alter your life, then my presence has no meaning in it.